


Vibe Check

by Bogus_Homologous



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Community: dc-kink, Laughter During Sex, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Rimming, Sexual Humor, stoner!tim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:02:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26198302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bogus_Homologous/pseuds/Bogus_Homologous
Summary: When they're like this, all stoned and fuzzy it takes forever to actually get to the sex. But Tim really loves the foreplay, the teasing, that when Kon flips the two of them over all he has to do is let Kon take him apart.
Relationships: Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent
Comments: 5
Kudos: 83





	Vibe Check

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the DC Kinkmeme: "I love stoner Tim. So, Tim and Kon agree to get high, then have sex while high because they think stoned sex is the best sex. Bonus for rather humorous distractions"  
> \---
> 
> My first time writing smut and of course it's gonna be stoned sex ha, hope everyone has seen Monty Python & the Holy Grail. 
> 
> If you haven't Knights Who Say Ni demand a shrubbery from King Arthur and his crew before they let them pass thru the forest, shhh it makes sense later.

It’s funny how everyone in the family thinks of Kon as the “corruptor” between the two of them. When he’d first got caught smoking, on some random rooftop on the far side of town with the meta, the Bats had naturally assumed the ‘reefer’ (as Bruce referred to him) was Kon. Tim snorts and shakes his head, remembering the awkward conversation. Bruce had threatened regular drug tests, emphasizing just how awful it was that the CEO of Wayne Enterprises thought it would be a good look to smoke on rooftops like some hoodlum. Tim had gawked at Bruce calling him a ‘hoodlum’ replied under his breath something along the lines of “it’s just pot” and immediately wished he could walk that grade A statement back. Listening to Bruce talk about how ‘it always starts with ‘just pot’, then it’s 'just coke' on the weekends, then you can’t function without it’. Which Tim honestly doesn’t know that many people who go straight from weed to coke but that wasn’t really the time to point that out. 

It’s usually- _‘just pot sometimes, then you try LSD and think you’re in love with it because everything feels so amazing for like 8 fucking hours and the comedown isn't bad at all. It's all blown eyes and tingling nerves, floating letters and morphing faces, feeling just so awesome. Until one time it doesn’t and you try to kill yourself because you’re the_ worst fucking person _and such a_ failure _and you hate yourself so much you just want to_ crawl out of your own skin _. Or you have a bad trip so then you go back to just pot’._ Actually- that might’ve just been Tim, but that’s not the point-

“Tim you’ve been grinding the stuff for like a minute babe, we’re gonna be smoking dust soon” Kon says with an eyebrow raised to the shorter man.

They’re sitting on Kon’s crappy futon with Tim having his legs splayed across his lap. They haven’t even started smoking yet and Tim’s already spacing on him. Though that’s just a Tim thing and Kon would be more worried if he suddenly stopped his weird little moments of thinking too much. Tim looks up surprised, then back to the little metal cylinder in his palms that he’s been fiddling with for the past minute.

“Oh crap, you’re right.” He looks down at the grinder in his hands and opens it up. 

Luckily the flower inside is broken up beautifully, not ground into oblivion. He sets the two halves of the grinder down before grabbing his metal Sherlock style pipe. It’s got a wicked opalescent resin inlay around the thin shiny metal. It’s the one he always brings when he smokes with Kon because beautiful, amazing, bumbling Kon has already broken **four** of Tim’s glass pipes in the past two months and he’s not taking the risk anymore.

“You want greens?” Tim asks once it’s packed and ready, holding the pipe out.

“You go ahead,” Kon smiles and shakes his head, instead focusing on picking out a movie from Netflix while Tim brings the pipe to his lips. He’s not going to argue with it, he’s been waiting to come to the meta’s apartment all day and smoke with him. Tim had gotten the text late last night:

 _“Got a little somethin for u (;”_ with the attachment pic. An eight of Strawberry Cough.

It’s Tim’s favorite strain of sativa, the giggly stuff. The shit that makes your head feel like it's made of clouds and your cheeks hurt from smiling. Last time he smoked it was with Jason and Roy and it was the funniest night of his life he swears. The three of them constantly flubbing their words, forgetting points mid-sentence and Roy’s ramblings of how the world would be- _‘just like sooo much better if we could just sit and have a blunt with the baddies you know? Like, like sit down and smoke ‘em out, I think we could make some real headway like that man'_ . Roy tried not to look wounded when Jason laughed so hard he had to stumble to the bathroom or else he’d piss himself he swore-

Tim finally exhales, blowing smoke through his nose first before letting the rest out in a cloud from his lips. He quickly takes another hit before passing the pipe to Kon who happily grabs it out of his hands. Tim holds the hit in for too long, when he let's it out he sees little stars dancing on the outskirts of his vision. He watches as Kon takes a long hit and starts the movie; Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Tim’s commenting ‘great choice’ before settling back. They sit there in silence just passing the pipe back and forth watching the movie. It’s one they both love but don’t get to watch a lot since Bart hates it, even if he’s only seen it once. Thought the whole movie was fine up until the end when he’d folded his arms and pouted, _‘Wow that’s not really it, is it guys? That movie sucks, it’s not even that funny, it’s just dumb'_. Tim still doesn’t understand what his problem with the ending is, only shakes his head as he goes to reload the bowl.

“Damn, we’re smoking quick, we’ve only gotten to the _‘tis but a flesh wound’_ and you’re already loading another bowl?” Kon asks, rubbing his hand appreciatively along Tim’s calf and up his thigh.

“Yeah, but we don’t do this often. We deserve an _indulgence_ , don’t you think?” Tim asks as he leans himself back to stretch his legs out, pulling one up to flex his calf in front of the meta’s face. He remembers one of the first times he smoked Kon out, got him actually stoned-off-his-ass high. How Kon had snuggled up with Tim’s legs, mumbling something about how much he loved them, that they’re one of his favorite parts of Tim because they’re _‘so sexy and dependable’_ . He gazes on as Kon licks his lips, eyeing what’s in front of him. Tim lights the bowl, taking a deep inhale and passes it before the cherry can go out. Kon takes a second, too busy still ogling at his boyfriend's slim built legs that he keeps _flexing_ before he takes a hit of his own.

Kon reaches out and grabs the lighter, letting out his previous hit along the way and sparks the bowl up again. Tim watches as Kon’s plump lips make an ‘o’ and he lets out little smoke rings, a trick he’s actually jealous of since he’s been smoking way longer than the meta. 

Tim is still busy being jealous when Kon starts groping at his legs with one hand lazily. He traces patterns into the skin, running his hand all the way up his shorts to grope at his bare inner thigh. Kon gazes over with a hunger in his eyes, waits until those baby blues make contact with his and pushes his hand the tiniest bit further so he can grope at Tim's prick over his boxers. Tim gives a gasp and rolls his hips into the strong hand that grips him. Kon flattens his hand to palm at the straining erection, setting the pipe aside so that he can focus his attention purely on this- on _Tim_. 

He palms and gropes for a minute, watching as his boyfriend's face begins to flush and he rolls his hips to meet those amazing touches. Tim's biting at his bottom lip but he's still letting out these little hums that drive Kon crazy. Before they can get too carried away from just this, Kon pulls his hand out from the leg of Tim's shorts. He brings his hands to unbutton them, reaching up to loop his fingers in the hem and pulls. Tim shimmies as Kon peels him out of his shorts, and they’re quickly tossed aside. He leans forward to kiss Tim before murmuring a quick, "Hold on, I'll be right back".

Tim takes the time to swing his legs off the futon and grab the pipe- _'Of course he left it cashed'_ . 

He reloads it, halfway watching the movie, halfway floating into the back of his head. He sees Kon returning, bottle in hand and realizes he'd gone to get the lube that Tim left in his satchel. _Oops_ , he really was too excited for this. He smiles up at the half-kryptonian, watches as he settles himself on the floor in between Tim's legs. He starts kissing at the creamy thighs in front of him. Tim hums as Kon massages his toned calves, thumbs digging in in all the right places. Tim is **so** fucking stoned right now. He can feel his eyes squinting on their own, the quirk of a smile on his lips he didn’t know he had, and when he closes his eyes- _whoa_ \- he can think back to something and- _it’s like being transported back in time_. 

For some reason his mind takes him back to smoking with Jason. It sounds lame but maybe Roy _did_ have a point about smoking bringing people together - _'smokin a fatty with the baddies' he'd called it -_ because ever since the two of them started hanging out and getting high together, they’re relationship has never been better-

“Tell me what you want.”

Tim forces his eyes open, even if they feel like lead right now. Kon’s now petting his thighs, pawing at them appreciatively and- _oh yeah, Kon wriggled him out of his shorts and now he's just in his tight little red boxers._ Kon’s looking up at him with those precious blue eyes that seem even brighter when the whites are all red from smoking too much. Those plush lips are kissing along Tim’s thigh, over old scars that normally Tim doesn’t let Kon hang around like this because of them. But he’s so high right now and his head is floating and everything's okay. Kon loves him, he doesn’t judge him or think less of him because of it, he just keeps kissing and sucking, moving his lips to go further inside than along the top.

“I want-” Tim starts, before he’s suddenly distracted by the TV behind the hulking half-kryptonian crouched below him. It's right at 'The Knights Who Say Ni!' and Tim can already feel a smile perking it’s way onto his lips. He tries to fight it, focus on Kon beneath him like he is, ready to take him apart at a moments demand. He can feel Kon's strong jaw ghosting along the outline of his prick, feel those lips nuzzling against the wet spot forming and that does force Tim's attention back down. Kon's staring at him with such intensity, waiting for Tim to look down. The meta rewards him by flicking his tongue out, just to tease against the tip before asking again. 

"What do you want, sunshine?" He husks. Tim moans, he can feel Kon's hot breath on him but a shrill 'Ni!' focuses him to the TV for just a second and Tim knows _exactly_ what he wants.

"I want," he starts, low and sensual. He runs his fingers along the nape of Kon's neck smiling wickedly down at him. Kon, never breaking eye contact, nuzzles his mouth against the clothed cock. Looking like he just can't wait for Tim to say it, 

"a shrubbery, a nice one, bu-"

He can't even finish the joke because Kon _fucking loses it._ The meta's ducked his head into Tim's lap as he honest-to-god guffaws right into Tim's hard-on. The thing is, Tim has never been a ticklish person, but now, with Kon laughing with his face in his dick, Tim feels it. The prickles that shoot up his sides and make him jolt like he's been shocked. The giggles that are forced from his throat at an alarming rate that his diaphragm can't keep up with, the way his back arches forward, curling himself into a little ball basically trapping Kon's head. Tim can't really tell why Kon is shaking his head but it only intensifies the tickles that electrify his body to the point Tim gives out something that sounds like a squeal. 

He's still a giggling mess and his stomach _hurts_ when he feels the familiar ghosting of the meta's TTK prying him apart so that Kon can escape from the cocoon of his boyfriend's body. It's funny to see Kon all red in the face but he's smiling up at Tim with so much love and happiness shining in his eyes that it almost hurts to look at, it's like looking into the Sun.

"You fucking _suck,_ " Kon teases, slapping the inside of the others thigh hard enough it's pink already, "I'm being all sexy, you're all cute and then you say that? A _shrubbery?_ " He laughs again. Tim can't help the smile on his face as he lays flat across the futon, tired from his frantic giggle fit. 

"You know," Kon says low and wriggles his eyebrows. "I haven't shaved in a few days so I think you're in luck." He winks up at Tim who buries his head in the futon because even though he's snickering again- _'Wow that was so bad and lame and I love this dumbass so much'_. When he picks his head up he's surprised to see the meta's gone ahead and stripped completely.

Sure enough, he hasn't shaved in awhile.

"A few days my ass, Conner," He chastises through laughs as he sits up on his knees. There's a deep dark patch all around the now exposed cock, which really makes it look a lot more imposing than it usually is. "That's almost a jungle babe, but, I _guess_ I'll take it." He says as he shimmies his way closer to the meta. 

Kon laughs back and nods, "Hell yeah you will," he says it like he's just won the lottery and wraps his fingers around Tim's built frame. Even with all his muscle, all his training and fighting Tim's frame stays so lithe. It's a head rush of a feeling, towering over him like he does, that goes straight to his cock. He ducks his head down to meet the other's lips, the kiss is soft and it feels like time is slowing down from moving too quick moments before to hardly moving now. They take their time, licking into and exploring each others' mouths. Kon can feel deft hands trace their way from his shoulders down to his pecs where they stay, pressing flat and rubbing against his built chest down to his rippled abs and back up. His own fingers dig into Tim's slim hips, pushing down to grope at handfuls of his perky ass. The meta moans, deep and low, when those fingers start rubbing at and playing with his nipples and Tim licks further into his mouth at the opportunity. One of those hands wanders further down, until Kon feels every finger wrap so slow around his cock and _squeeze_.

"Awh fuck. _Babe._ " Kon rumbles and throws his head back, pushing his hips forward to fuck into Tim's fist, "Hold on, I need to sit down for this." 

They both laugh lazily and Tim is moving back to make room for him. The moment his ass hits the futon though Tim is right back on him, grinding down as he settles and leans in to suck at Kon’s neck. 

The position is all wrong; Kon sitting in the middle of the futon, one leg tucked under him while the other hangs off the edge. Though he's not going to complain when he's got Tim in his lap, straddling him and the only way they're even able to fit like this is because Tim fits _perfectly_ in his lap. Kon cards his fingers through Tim's hair before he grips the silky black strands, pulling Tim off his collarbone. He bites down on the pale skin of Tim's shoulder and grinds his hips up, desperate for more contact. They stay like that for a long while, just groping and touching all over each other with soft moans, movie forgotten in the background. Tim starts moaning loudly when Kon takes a reddened pert nipple into his mouth and sucks hard. Tonging and biting, Tim’s always been sensitive here but it’s amplified by the THC coursing through his brain. 

“Kon,” He moans, grinding his hips down into the meta’s bare lap, the only thing keeping their cocks from pressing together is the fabric Tim's still wearing, “I want you in my mouth."

Kon’s off his chest with a smirk and a ‘yeah?’. He’s beaming up at Tim, rubbing circles around the abused nipple. They’re re-situating so that Kon’s leaning back on his elbows, one leg still hanging off the side and the other now lying against the back. Tim lays himself between his spread thighs and brings his face right up to the thick cock that springs forth from the patch of hair around the base. He grabs a hold of the base with one hand to lean the cock towards his lips, presses a light kiss to the tip before parting his lips. He starts with only the head, laving his tongue flat against the slit to collect the precome that drips out. When he gets the taste on his tongue Tim moans and sucks, hollowing his cheeks. Above him, Kon throws a hand behind his own head and moans. 

Tim lowers his mouth, still sucking and undulates his tongue along the underside of the cock filling his mouth. He springs himself back up until he’s only got the tip in again, swirling his tongue around the mushroom head before he dives back down. He keeps this pattern up, diving all the way down until Kon can feel Tim’s throat fluttering around the tip of his cock and sucking hard when he pulls back up, teasing more precome out of the head before diving in again. After all the groping, teasing, and kissing they’d done, Kon's skin feels like it's seriously vibrating with oversensitivity. Now, to have Tim's mouth on him it's almost too much. It takes only two more dives before he's cupping Tim's head, keeping him on his dick as he comes. He can feel Tim swallowing around him, and _usually_ Tim's mouth can keep up with swallowing every drop that he milks out of Kon. It's the pot, Kon knows, but fuck if it isn't hot to see the beads that turn to sticky litttle trails leaking from the sides of his boyfriend's reddened mouth. The hand that holds him in place changes to gently petting instead as he lets Tim up. 

Tim comes up slowly this time, inching his way off Kon’s long, thick cock. He doesn't close his mouth when he comes off, letting ropes of come mixed with saliva hang from his open mouth to the meta's _still_ _throbbing hard_ cock. Tim's staring right at him with those piercing blue eyes and those sweet, swollen, red lips. It's the most obvious thing in the world to say when Tim's looking at him like that-

"I love you," Kon huffs out, still catching his breath and his heart skips a beat when Tim smiles at him, wiping his face with the back of his hand, "I love you _so fucking much._ " 

Tim's crawling up into his lap, pressing light kisses along the way. They meet with a filthy wet kiss before Tim pops up to sit in a straddle position to grab the pipe. He loses his balance after reaching out again to get the lighter. He squeezes his thighs around Kon's middle, throwing the hand with the lighter against Kon’s broad chest. Once he's regained his balance, Tim brings the pipe to his swollen lips, lights it and takes a deep inhale. It’s such a strong hit that his head swirls on the exhale and he can't help the giggle that escapes. When he does his ass slides back making contact with Kon's cock. 

The meta groans beneath him, digging his fingers into Tim’s slim hips so that he can roll his forward. Tim feels him slide against the cleft of his cheeks before the head goes forward, rubbing against his clothed balls to the base of his own hard cock. Tim hums and bites his lip, before his giggles return except somehow this time there's a sensualness to them. He's looking at Kon like he's got the munchies and the half-kryptonian is a family sized bag of cool ranch doritos. Tim looks back at the pipe, seeing the cherry still lit and takes another hit. 

This time when he draws in, it's not fully expanding into his lungs. Once he's got a mouthful he sets the pipe aside and leans down to meet the meta face to face. His fingers tease at Kon’s full lips, gently coaxing them open before Tim is pressing their bottom lips together and he opens his own. Leaning in further to seal their lips before letting the smoke escape from his own. Right below, Kon is sucking in the wisps of smoke that come from Tim’s wicked mouth. Kon's holding the hit when Tim starts biting and sucking along his jawline, down his throat. There's a gruff sound of Kon choking on the smoke while Tim sucks a mean hickey on his neck. 

Tim waits for the exhale, and when he finally starts letting out the hit slowly from his lips Tim smirks against the meta's neck and grinds down _hard_. There's a slight moan and then Kon’s whole body is shaking from the coughs racking his body.

"You fucking _suck,_ " he barely chokes out after all his coughing has mostly subsided. Tim only gives a 'mmhm' and grinds again, watching as Kon throws his head back against the pillows. When they're like this, all stoned and fuzzy it takes forever to actually get to the sex. But Tim really loves the foreplay, the teasing, that when Kon flips the two of them over all Tim has to do is let Kon take him apart. Which, Kon must've read his mind because Tim can feel the wisps of TTK pulling at him, drawing him off. Kon leans up quickly and pulls the back of the futon to pull it down into the bed function while Tim hovers above. After it 'clunks!' into place, Tim's being pulled up and rolled onto his back. Once he's laid flat, Kon's hooking his hands under Tim's knees to push up and out, damn near bringing them to his chest. Tim holds the position while Kon rubs his thumb over his hole through his boxers. 

Tim groans as Kon lowers his head, "Please, Kon," 

He doesn't waste any time, pulling at the stretch-hem just enough to expose Tim's entrance and dives right in. Pressing his face in, Kon licks greedily at Tim's hole with sure, sharp grinds of his tongue. He gives one flat lick, then pulls his tongue back to tease the tip against the tight ring of muscle. Tim's coming apart, his feet keep arching and his toes curl. He's moaning like a whore, pleading for ' _more, Kon, please'-_ Kon doesn't miss a beat before thrusting his tongue in, testing out that tightness that’s going to be wrapped around his cock soon. He keeps the steady tongue-fucking while fumbling with the lube in his left hand. The cap pops open easily and he's pouring a good amount over his first two fingers on his other hand, all while Tim's moans make his cock leap against his belly and he's still got his face buried in Tim's ass.

He chuckles when Tim whines as he pulls his tongue away, but his boyfriend doesn't have time to say any protests before Kon is dipping his lubed fingers into that tight heat. He knows Tim's body like the back of his hand, only a minute before he's curling his fingers right over that little bundle inside him that drives Tim _wild._ The body beneath him tenses, moans loud and breathily,

 _"Fuck me"_ spills out of his mouth with such a desperation, like he'll die if Kon doesn't fuck him senseless right now.

Kon curls his fingers and presses in again, kissing at the inside of Tim's thigh, "Strip and I will." 

Tim must be too lost in his little bubble of pleasure since he makes no effort to move, acts like he didn't even hear Kon. Not that it's an issue for the meta, he simply withdraws his fingers brings his hands on either side of the fabric -

**_*riiip*_ **

Tears them right in two, but when they meet eyes Tim's pouting through huffs. He whines, "Conner." Not in a _fuck me_ way but in a _wow really_ way. 

"Don't act like such a baby." Kon smiles as he lubes up his cock, giving it a few good pumps.

Tim's face scrunches up, "Ew, don't compare me to a baby when you're about to fuck me. That's weird, dude."

"Ew," Kon mocks playfully, "Don't call me _'dude'_ when I'm about to fuck you. That's weird, babe." He echos back.

Tim laughs, "Okay, deal."

"You ready?" Kon's lining himself up with Tim's spit and lube slicked hole.

Tim plants his feet down, pulling his hips to wriggle them enticingly, "Ready"

Kon pushes in all at once, burying himself to the hilt. He can't contain the groan that slips out of him finally being enveloped in that tight heat. Feeling Tim clench around his cock makes his eyes roll back and he leans forward, bracing himself up on his forearms on either side of Tim's head. There’s hardly any space between them now, Kon’s arms encasing him and Kon's face just a hair above his. When Tim breathes deeply, a full inhale, their chests touch. Kon begins grinding his hips, pulling out and fucking back in. It's like their bodies sing where they touch. Kon presses their foreheads together and he’s running his fingers through Tim’s hair. His cock is hitting right where Tim needs it, where he’s been needing it and- _fuck-_ it’s so good. It’s like they’re literally melting into each other they’re so close. Tim's eyes roll into the back of his head and he’s just focusing on _feeling it all,_ fully entombed by Kon’s body.

Except- he hears it again, the damn movie, and Tim is rolling his head over to peak through the tiny space between Kon’s head and arm to see the screen. _‘Oh no’_ Tim thinks. It’s his favorite part. When King Arthur faces against the ‘ferocious beast’ that turns out to be a little white rabbit.

“What’s it done, bit your bum?” Comes from the screen. Kon hits his prostate again and it forces a moan out of him and his vision blurs. 

Tim wraps his own arms around the meta's neck, pulling him in even closer. He _really tries_ to keep his eyes away from the screen until he hears screaming. On the screen, a bunch of men in medieval gear run as they’re attacked by a bloodthirsty ‘rabbit’. Which is really a fucking rabbit hand puppet with fake blood on it. The urge to laugh is overwhelming, even now with Kon driving balls deep into him. Tim thinks he might actually be able to not lose it before they’re all screaming on the TV, 

“Run away! Run away!” 

And that’s it. 

Tim ducks his head into Kon’s neck, laughing silently, his whole body shaking. And when he brings his legs back further, Kon hits his prostate _every time_. He's fucking these ‘ah-ah-ah’s out of Tim that almost sound like cries from the weird meld of laughter mixed moans. It shouldn't even be that funny, especially when he's so close to coming and he's damn near got his feet to his ears and Kon's fucking him.

Kon whispers in his ear, "Are you crying?" 

"No, I'm- " it’s cut off by another sharp thrust into his prostate that punches a long drawn moan out of Tim. Kon is smiling at his ear though, clear enough in those two words with his lilting giggles that no, he's not crying.

"You're such a weirdo." He huffs into Tim's neck as he picks up the pace, almost inhuman now. 

Tim really means to say back 'I know' but what comes out is a pitiful, "I'm gonna come"

"Me too," The meta husks in his ear before biting at the shell. He fucks into Tim one final time and stills, coming fully buried inside. Tim closes his eyes as his own orgasm washes over him. By the time Kon is pulling out Tim's body is practically jello. Kon snuggles up next to Tim, nuzzling into his inky black hair.

"This was a really good idea." Kon faintly hears Tim murmur as they both pass out for the rest of the night.

**Author's Note:**

> It was a challenge getting this under 5k, I got way too carried away with stoner!Tim shenanigans and rambled on lol. But I may polish up & post what I cut out just because


End file.
